Alliance Work Partners, our Employee Assistance Program, offers the following advice when managing emotions on your team. A link to the full article is at the end of this Daily News post.
1. Find Out What’s Going On
• Sometimes, people just need their feelings to be acknowledged. They will likely feel relieved when you engage with them about the issue. So, after an outburst, make time to meet with your team members in private. This is your chance to get to the heart of the matter. Begin by asking simple questions, such as, “It seems that you have strong feelings about this – what’s behind it?”
• Use your active listening skills, and pay close attention to the answers. People might feel threatened, or think that they’ve failed in some way. They may be worried about workload, and feel that they can’t cope. Or, perhaps they are euphoric after beating the competition to a big sale.
• To make sure that you’ve understood everyone’s replies, reflect their language back to them. For example, you could say, “So, you’re feeling stressed about the tight deadline – is that right?” Give everyone the chance to agree or disagree. This doesn’t mean that you agree with them; it just affirms their feelings.
2. Address the Issue
• Once you’ve heard your team members’ points of view, try to agree on a way forward that addresses the issue.
• For example, you might be able to restructure the team’s workload to reduce stress. Or, you could arrange mediation with other team members, or plan a team celebration in recognition of a recent success.
• Write down what you’ve agreed, and ask the people concerned to read and acknowledge the document, so that everyone knows the next steps and commits to them.
• But remember that not all emotional reactions at work are triggered by work. A team member might feel short-tempered because he or she is the exhausted parent of young children, for example. In these cases, simply let him talk. You don’t have to offer advice, and you likely won’t be able to transform the issue. So, just hear what’s going on in his life.
• However, if his emotions affect his performance, or impact team morale, don’t be afraid to offer appropriate feedback. Be sensitive, but explain the problems that his behavior is causing.
• Seek support from your HR department, if necessary, and direct your team member toward the employee assistance program.
3. Adapt to Changing Emotions
• Check in regularly with your team members to gauge how each person is feeling. It could be as little as five minutes set aside at the end of one-on-ones or team meetings.
• This need not be structured time, and you don’t have to respond to your team members’ concerns straight away. Just give them the opportunity to be heard.
• If people don’t want to talk, their body language can provide you with clues. A team member who’s clenching her jaw, for example, might be stressed. Slumped shoulders could indicate disinterest or disengagement, while quivering and fidgeting could suggest excitement.
• As you learn how your people are feeling, try to attune to it and adapt your management style accordingly. Even small gestures can boost motivation and make people feel supported. Equally, calm, measured tones of voice can help to settled excited nerves.
4. Lead From the Front
• You can’t tell people how they should manage their emotions, and you can’t manage their feelings for them. But, you can offer an example for others to follow.
• The key to this is to develop your emotional intelligence. People with high emotional intelligence recognize and acknowledge their emotions, but they aren’t driven by them. For example, they may feel angry, but they hold back from “acting out” their feelings.
• Instead, they showcase the behavior that they expect from their team members, such as dignity, restraint, diligence, and self-awareness, while remaining authentic. In short, they are in control of their emotions, rather than controlled by them.
5. Spot the Early Signs of an Emotional Crisis
• Ignoring a full-blown emotional outburst isn’t an option. But if you observe more subtle emotional behaviors, such as a team member who seems withdrawn or irritable, it can be best to maintain a watchful eye rather than to take action straight away.
• This may sound counter-intuitive. But even the most capable, professional people can have “off days” when they feel moody, distracted or agitated.
• Your people need to know that they can talk to you if they want to, but they may not feel like talking at all. Sometimes, people just want to “keep their heads down” and get to the end of the day.
• If they’re not causing a problem or upsetting others, consider letting things go for a short time. The emotion might just play out. However, if it persists the next morning, it may be time to start figuring out what’s wrong.
Key Points
Emotions in the workplace are nothing to fear. But if they become disruptive, it’s important to deal with them properly.
• In an emotional crisis, it’s vital to show that you’re in control. Stay calm, defuse the situation, and give your team members the chance to walk away with dignity.
• Strong emotions can be clues to problems that people have at work, or issues that need to be acknowledged. Give them the chance to talk through these issues in private. Be sensitive, but remind people of their professional responsibilities, too.
• As a manager, you can lead by example, and take steps to improve your own emotional intelligence. This will make you better able to gauge the emotional “temperature” in your team.
• Many strong emotions will simply “blow over.” If it’s not a crisis situation, try letting things lie overnight. If the strong emotions persist, gently ask what’s wrong.
Excerpts taken from:https://www.awpnow.com/main/2020/04/22/managing-emotion-in-your-team/
For more information about supervisory resources, please contact your Campus HR Team at HSC.HR@untsystem.edu. For additional virtual professional development opportunities, please visit the Organizational Development & Engagement page at: https://hr.untsystem.edu/organizational-development-engagement-ode.